Ballet rehearsal again!
Oct. 26th, 2025 06:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lesbocannibalI’m watching Snow and I minorly want to fucking die. 😭😭😭 I’m so fuckijg jealous it’s making me sick. I’m jealous of all the dancers in Snow. I wish I’d signed up to do it, but I feel like I’d be jealous either way. If I /did/ sign up to do it, I probably would’ve hated it and wanted out. But… I don’t know, a lot of the girls who have been THE members of ballet club since I joined in freshman year are graduating. Should I have joined an extra dance so I could dance in corps with them one last time? I have no idea. Then Again, I’m ALREADY in FOUR DANCES and that’s just!!’ A bit much!!’ For me! Like I'm a neuroscience major, I'm in a complicated neuro class + Orgo with lab + Chinese (WHICH I HATE AND WANT TO DIE), I don't know if I have the mental capacity to join another dance. It's not even the time, it'd only be an extra hour a week--you know, not great, but not the worst in the world either. But the dance is like, five minutes straight of choreo, or something like that. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but we are talking about straight dancing with no breaks, and it's a complicated piece with lots of formation changes.
...But most of all, what makes me jealous is that he's picking her up. GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! HE BELONGS TO MEEEEEE UAGH AUGH AUGH AUGHA UGHA UGHAG UAHGHAGH (other yandere nonsense goes here)
Although, again, he's perfectly willing to partner with me again. I don't think he knows just how much I want it, but it's out there. He was telling me about choreography he wants to give me (when I'm Lucy Westenra in Dracula) and it was beautiful... and involved partnering between her and Dracula. I'm going to try to convince him to play Dracula for ENTIRELY selfish reasons, but seriously, who else will be Dracula? Since he's the one man in the ballet club, he basically gets to pick between Dracula or Jonathan Harker. He raised some good points about the queer subtext of having Jonathan Harker be a man, and Dracula as a woman or more feminine person. Woah! Problematic evil gays alert! But I want him to be Dracula. I want us to be Dracula and Lucy. I cannot express how much this NEEDS to happen.
It's funny, 'Lucy' has been on my name list for a while, even before I set my heart on dancing Lucy Westenra. It's not like I'm going to have competition, I don't think anyone else will go as hard as I will for this role. They will let me do this, and they will love it. And I'll be beautiful. And they'll all love me when I die onstage. Ahh, to be so Fucking Normal about ballet…
...But most of all, what makes me jealous is that he's picking her up. GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! HE BELONGS TO MEEEEEE UAGH AUGH AUGH AUGHA UGHA UGHAG UAHGHAGH (other yandere nonsense goes here)
Although, again, he's perfectly willing to partner with me again. I don't think he knows just how much I want it, but it's out there. He was telling me about choreography he wants to give me (when I'm Lucy Westenra in Dracula) and it was beautiful... and involved partnering between her and Dracula. I'm going to try to convince him to play Dracula for ENTIRELY selfish reasons, but seriously, who else will be Dracula? Since he's the one man in the ballet club, he basically gets to pick between Dracula or Jonathan Harker. He raised some good points about the queer subtext of having Jonathan Harker be a man, and Dracula as a woman or more feminine person. Woah! Problematic evil gays alert! But I want him to be Dracula. I want us to be Dracula and Lucy. I cannot express how much this NEEDS to happen.
It's funny, 'Lucy' has been on my name list for a while, even before I set my heart on dancing Lucy Westenra. It's not like I'm going to have competition, I don't think anyone else will go as hard as I will for this role. They will let me do this, and they will love it. And I'll be beautiful. And they'll all love me when I die onstage. Ahh, to be so Fucking Normal about ballet…
