What is a “trusted adult?”

[lesbocannibal]

Seriously, where the hell do you get these if not finding them in fan communities? Nobody trusts their parents, and you can’t trust teachers or therapists because they’re mandated reporters who WILL tell your parents or get you locked in the fucking psych ward. And obviously you can’t trust adults at your church/religious groups. Being a minor sucks, thank god I have rights now. 

Comments

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I'm pleased to see someone else acknowledged that mandatory reporters are necessarily untrustworthy, because the last thing someone needs when having a problem is for another person to violate their confidence and boundaries. So, effectively that cuts off most avenues of assistance.

Other possibilities include an older relative, family friend, neighbor, etc. if you know them well enough to trust them AND they have shown signs of disapproving whoever is hurting you or being supportive of some other sort of problem. Frex, an aunt who survived being a teen mother could be a good bet for unplanned pregnancy support.

Re: Yes ...

[lesbocannibal]

Truly!!! I’m staunchly anti-psychiatry and shxt like this is why—mandated reporting just gets young peoples’ psyches destroyed. You learn to live in fear of disclosing what’s happening to you, or else be traumatized worse by psychiatrization or the wrath of your parents. Their ways of “helping” us simply lead to undue stress.

Re: Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Truly!!! I’m staunchly anti-psychiatry <<

I am not wholly anti-psychiatry, because some people have found it very helpful, but I've also seen a lot of people harmed by it. The current setup in particular is a total Trojan horse -- clients are falsely told that what they say is confidential, but if you read the whole violation of privacy statement, it lists a bunch of cases where they plan in advance to hand off intimate information to the government or other organizations without consent.

Ironically, most insurance won't pay for sessions with a psychiatrist anymore, except one quickie for prescribing medication. They literally cut the top off the entire field. Unsurprisingly, now there is a shortage because nobody wants to spend all that money on medical school to become a glorified pharmacist.

>> and shxt like this is why—mandated reporting just gets young peoples’ psyches destroyed. You learn to live in fear of disclosing what’s happening to you, or else be traumatized worse by psychiatrization or the wrath of your parents.<<

Exactly. Also with adults, there are still certain topics where it is not safe to discuss those things at all because there are negative consequences. So that makes it effectively impossible to get professional help, which leads to those problems going untreated, which I do not see as a good outcome.

>> Their ways of “helping” us simply lead to undue stress.<<

Prevailingly true. I have observed that most "help" is not designed to make life easier for the client, but for other people. Peer input from other folks who have faced the same challenges is more likely to produce useful solutions. You never see anything like, "I see that you're overloaded. Here's a prescription for one month of maid service while we work on lightening your load in sustainable ways." So much of the industry is just ... spackle.

Re: Yes ...

[lesbocannibal]

Clarification: when I say I’m antipsych, I’m referring to the school of thought that is against the harm caused by the psychiatric system. I, myself, am in therapy and receiving mood stabilizers from a psychiatrist. I have also been harmed by the psych ward and let down by the institution of psychiatry. (you can see evidence on this on my journal from June 2024, lmao, although I think the posts are private). I also disagree with prevailing models of mental illness, such as back-explaining mechanisms such as hormone imbalance and claiming that drugs actually reverse your “illness”, as opposed to simply causing effects that counteract it. Hold on my cat is harassing me

Re: Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Clarification: when I say I’m antipsych, I’m referring to the school of thought that is against the harm caused by the psychiatric system.<<

Fair enough.

>> I, myself, am in therapy and receiving mood stabilizers from a psychiatrist. <<

I'm glad you found something that helps.

>>I have also been harmed by the psych ward and let down by the institution of psychiatry.<<

:/

>> I also disagree with prevailing models of mental illness, such as back-explaining mechanisms such as hormone imbalance<<

Most mental illnesses do not have a physical aspect that can be identified with an objective test. That's a problem. However, it's true that hormone imbalances or other biochemical issues can make people miserable.

>> and claiming that drugs actually reverse your “illness”, as opposed to simply causing effects that counteract it.<<

Yeah, there's a difference between a treatment and a cure.

>> Hold on my cat is harassing me <<

LOL yes -- dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Re: Yes ...

[we_are_spc]

Prevailingly true. I have observed that most "help" is not designed to make life easier for the client, but for other people. Peer input from other folks who have faced the same challenges is more likely to produce useful solutions. You never see anything like, "I see that you're overloaded. Here's a prescription for one month of maid service while we work on lightening your load in sustainable ways." So much of the industry is just ... spackle.

Which only works for a short amount of time, and sometimes needs adjusting,, ug.

Gods, I would love that month of maid service. Sometimes just keeping up *this* place is hard on its own, especially now that I'm figuring out that long Covid has given me mental issues that I never, in this life, thought I would be dealing with. >.<

-T~

[yourivy]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding an adult you trust :( *hugs*

[lesbocannibal]

Oh, this was moreso about my experiences in middle/high school, I’m an adult in college now with a real support network ^^ (I have an actual therapist, plus my professor/advisor. They’re still mandated reporters: I can’t talk to my therapist about suicidality and can’t talk to my advisor about sexual assault, but I at least don’t live in fear of my parents finding out anything I’ve been saying.)

[yourivy]

I see! Glad you have a good support network now ♥
That "mandated reporter" thing is kind of messed up - here, therapists can't break confidentiality unless you explicitly agree OR you're an acute danger to yourself or others.

[lesbocannibal]

Oh, it’s not even just therapists :,) TEACHERS at school have to.

[yourivy]

WTF? It seems like that could cause more harm than good in many cases...